It was all over the news Thursday, a purse encrusted with  more than  4,500 diamonds was unveiled — where else — in Dubai. In fact, the $3.8 million evening bag was actually certified by the folks at Guinness Book World Records as “the world’s most expensive purse” (duh.)

The heart shaped-purse, designed by Robert Mouawad at the Mouawad Store in the Dubai Mall, was inspired by the collection of romantic tales “One Thousand and One (Arabian) Nights” and is thus dubbed ‘The Mouawad 1001 Nights Diamond Purse’…

A few stats on this mindbogglingly unnecessary trinket:

4,517 — The number of diamonds on the purse (and really, that many diamonds and they came up with something that ugly?)

105 — The number of yellow diamonds on the purse

56 –  The number of pink diamonds on the purse

381.92 — Carats on the purse

18k– Gold on the purse

10 — The number of  “skilled artisans” who made the purse.

8,800 — The number of hours it took to create the purse.

3 — The number of items it looks like (to me)  the purse will hold:  Lipstick, Platinum card, iPhone.

The House of Mouawad, creators of what should now just be referred to as “THE WORLD’S MOST EXPENSIVE PURSE” (because, honestly, gaudy as it is, there is so far only ONE $3.8 million dollar purse out there) was founded in 1890 and, according to a press release, “From those early days Mouawad rose to global prominence through its passion for precious gems and mastery in the art of creating some of the world’s most breathtaking jewelry.”

I confess I must be some sort of uncouth cretin because I have never heard of Mouawad and I have actually heard of a lot of things. My guess is that being in Dubai and being the purveyors of what they call “The exceptional level of craftsmanship exemplified by the Mouawad 1001 Nights Diamond Purse” they have been out of my and most everyone’s price range since they were founded. And sure enough a check of their website, featuring pictures of Heidi Klum, Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lopez and Angelina Jolie wearing their diamonds proves me right.

Maybe one of them will pop up at the Oscars Sunday wearing the world’s most expensive purse.

Or if you have the bucks you can wear them with these $10,000 Swarovski crystal boots …

Ciao for now …

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